Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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