I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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