dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My feet surprised me
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