Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
that's an acceptable place to lick
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
