Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
