I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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