Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
