I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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