I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I take back everything I said about communal showers
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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