i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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