Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she smelled like a LAN party
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
