I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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