apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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