i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
