she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
