ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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