I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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