i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
