i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
