Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Did we literally take a cab across the street
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
