Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
only if we run a train.
done.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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