So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
