Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
NoShamevember. You game?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
