also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
