these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize