It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
