I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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