This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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