How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
