Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
