I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
