he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
