porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
