Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize