You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
