I'm going to jail i love you
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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