no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize