1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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