You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
