They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
