Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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