is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize