I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
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Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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