It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
