apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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