Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
