he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
