She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
