ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize