we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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