i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize