Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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