i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
