In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
