Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i wish my penis had a tongue
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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