She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
