Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
