dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
