____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
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Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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